Top ten ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars

  1. A particular model of car wouldn’t be available until AFTER that year, instead of before.
  2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a new car.
  3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, you’d have to restart it, and for some reason you would just accept this.
  4. You could only have one person in your car at a time unless you had Car95 or CarNT, but then you would have to buy more seats.
  5. Apple Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice as reliable, five times as fast, but only ran on 10% of the roads.
  6. The oil, alternator, gas, and engine warning lights would be replaced with a single “General Car Fault” warning light.
  7. People would get excited about the “new” features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been previously available in other brands for years.
  8. Each morning, you would have to take your steering wheel out to the car and then install it per the “plug and play” technique. 20% of the time, the car would not “recognize” the steering wheel, and you would have to reinstall it, but for some reason you would happily accept this also.
  9. We would have to switch to Microsoft Gas.
  10. The speed limit would change according to the fastest model and so upgrading would be the law!