How to bake cookies with your cat…

Just follow this simple 27-step process and you’ll have a batch of cookies in no more than two or three days.

  1. Find appropriate cookie recipe in cookbook.
  2. Get cup of coffee or cola.
  3. Remove cat from atop cookbook.
  4. Locate recipe again.
  5. Remove cat’s nose from cola or coffee.
  6. Remove eggs from refrigerator.
  7. Obtain dry ingredients from cupboard.
  8. Break eggs in small bowl.
  9. Sift dry ingredients in large bowl.
  10. Answer the phone. Threaten caller with federal “Do Not Call” list.
  11. Obtain more eggs from the refrigerator to replace the ones the cat ate.
  12. Remove cat from flour bowl and clean cat with portable vacuum cleaner.
  13. Apply bandages to hands.
  14. Discard flour and sift new flour into bowl, after washing bowl.
  15. Preheat oven to 450.
  16. Glare at cat, causing him to flee into the bathroom.
  17. Flour the counter and roll out cookie dough.
  18. Investigate the cause of loud crash from the bathroom.
  19. Put toilet paper back on roll and pick up everything that used to be on the counter.
  20. Yell at cat and watch as he falls into the toilet bowl.
  21. Remove cat from toilet and blow dry.
  22. Apply new bandages to hands, arms, legs.
  23. Wipe any remaining blood (yours) from the wall.
  24. Investigate the cause of loud thump from the kitchen.
  25. Remove cat from bowl of flour.
  26. Lock cat in basement.
  27. Go to the store to buy cookies.